A hectic week of Foley news was coming to an end. I've been sitting on my Ikea pleather (excuse me, Naugahyde) sofa remote surfing for news on Mark Foley, but already the scandal is dying down.

Mark Foley, who was outed by The Advocate in 1996, was typical gay Republican: complete denial. Not only was the Congressman unable to admit publicly to being gay, his politics, power and self-loathing had completely sealed him in, forcing him to seek his gay identity on the internet. Foley chaired the Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus and pushed to pass the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act in 2005, yet used his power to exploit teen-age boys in the Congressional page program. Ironically, the FBI is investigating to see if Foley violated his own law.

My fingers dance on the remote searching for programs still delivering Foley news.

The phone rings, “What'cha doing?” Dan asks.

“Eating a spinach salad, Spinaci et Pollo alla Pomodoro Puttanesca. It's an Italian marinated grilled chicken breast atop a bed of spinach with a wonderful homemade tomato vinaigrette with plums, peaches and just a touch of e-coli,” I explain.

“Di-lish, can you make that for me?”

I laugh. Then think, “It's funny, 'cause it's sad.

“You coming down to the Plastic Pony for a beer?” Dan asks.

“Can't,” I respond. “I have an OTM server down.”

“Why do you insist on buying all your servers from brokenservers.com?” Dan asks.

“I buy all my servers at brokenservers.com because they offer free shipping,” I return.

“You'd think you could run that crackerjack OTM website off a cellphone!”

“In fact, I'm working on a Foley angle for OTM,” I reply as I switch over to Fox News Sunday where former House Speaker Newt Gingrich is delivering the latest Republican angle. “Had they overly aggressively reacted to the initial round,” Newt claims, “they would also have been accused of gay bashing.”

“You can come down for one beer,” Dan states.

“I'm in the middle of scandal!” I shot back.

“Those OTM Qpeeps turn on you?”

“Nooooo, Mark Foley...” I begin.

“Wait. Wait. I'm getting an instant message,” Dan digs at me.

On the tube, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force director Matt Foreman is pushing back, “It's absurd given that Republican House leadership has never shied away from bashing gay people.”

“Yes, that Mark Foley. The scandal is sooo good. It's Chocolate Tres Leches Cake good!” I quip.

“A gay Republican cake?” Dan questions.

“A dessert metaphor is appropriate,” I suggest. “The irony that the Republican's power in Congress might be impaired due to a gay scandal when gay bashing disguised as moral values elevated them to power in the first place is just dessert.”

“Yeah, well Paul is gonna be at the Pony, you need to come,” Dan whimpers.

Matt Foreman continues, “What's clear is that the House leadership elevated holding onto a seat above the interests of young people in the page system. And they want to talk about moral values? Please.”

“I can't - it's server, Foley and an early String Theory Club meeting,” I announce.

“So you'll need to stop in at the Yarn Barn?”

“Yes, I will,” I conclude.