In a recent podcast, out actor Billy
Porter explained why it remains difficult for him to watch his own
Porter won an Emmy for his portrayal of
Pray Tell, a gay man who is HIV-positive, on the FX drama Pose.
In the show's second season, Pray
begins dating Ricky (played by Dyllon Burnside), a much younger man
who recently learned that he is also HIV positive. The men's coupling
leads to a falling out between Pray and best friend Blanca (MJ
Porter, who received a second Emmy
nomination this year, appeared on Entertainment Weekly's The
Awardist podcast, where he called a sensual sex scene in the show a
first for him.
“I would say that was probably the
hardest and most difficult thing for me to do because as a Black
queer man who has lived in a space for 30 years of being the magical
fairy on the side, of never, ever being the object of anyone's
affection in anything in my entire career, ever,” he said.
“I can't even watch it. Not because
of what I look like, just because I'm still trying to find a space
where I can be comfortable watching myself have sex on-screen.”
'It is not easy to watch. I watched it
with my husband the first time and we were both like … we
FX has renewed Pose for a third
season. Seasons one and two can be streamed on Netflix.