Electronic dance music artist, DJ, and
producer Spencer Brown, real name Spencer Bruno, has come out as gay.
Brown, who was born in Los Gatos,
California, came out in an op-ed published on Billboard.
Brown, 26, released his second studio
album, Stream of Consciousness, in January. Illusion of
Perfection, his debut album, was released in 2014.
In his essay, Brown said that he was
coming out because he no longer wanted to “live in fear.”
“I am gay,” he wrote. “It’s so
much easier to say today than it was even a few years ago. While I
have never publicly denied this part of me, I have also never spoken
out about it. I will no longer live in fear.”
Brown said that he grew up in “a
heteronormative community” in Dallas and began to realize he was
gay around puberty.
“Instead of taking girls on dates in
high school, I focused most of my free time on my passion: producing.
It was my escape from this girl-focused reality that excluded me. But
after a while, I could no longer escape what was inside me. My inner
self-hatred was growing, the anxiety attacks were getting more severe
and the depression waves would smack me cataclysmically.”
Brown said that his OCD “amplified”
“When I was 20-years-old, my
depression hit rock-bottom during a summer in Los Angeles,” he
said. “I vividly remember barely being able to get out of bed only
to cry while looking at myself in the mirror. It crossed my mind for
the first time. Am I gay? It can’t be. No way. My family will be
devastated. I’ll lose my friends. I won’t have a future. I can’t
have kids. What is the point of living?”
About a year later, Brown started
coming out to friends and family.
“Each person I told, the support
system strengthened. My gratitude deepened. The self-hate began to
fade. The support cascaded,” he said.
“I’ve transformed from a
self-hating, anxiety-ridden boy to a self-loving, grateful man. I’m
learning to transform my OCD into something more productive – like
perfecting my mixdowns and sound design. I’m discovering ways to
pass on the support I found in the dance music community, and I’m
finding so much to be thankful for. I learned to accept myself, and
then I learned to love myself, and now I am blessed to be living my
dream,” he concluded.