In an Attitude cover interview,
out singer Ricky Martin says that hiding his sexuality was
exhausting.
The 46-year-old Martin came out gay in
2010 after years of denying rumors about his sexuality. The former
Menudo star is raising two sons with husband Jwan Yosef, a conceptual
artist.
(Related: Ricky
Martin reveals he's married to Jwan Yosef.)
Martin plays Antonio D'Amico, clothing
designer Gianni Versace's longtime partner, in the third installment
of Ryan Murphy's anthology series American Crime Story.
Versace was murdered outside his Miami Beach home at the age of 50.
He was one of several gay victims of serial killer Andrew Cunanan
(played in the series by Glee alum Darren Criss).
“The level of injustice that we as a
community were dealing with back then was heavy,” Martin told
Attitude, adding that he “re-lived” his closeted past in
playing D'Amico.
“I was a closeted gay man who was
making my partners hide. I had relationships with other men who were
in the closet and I had other relationships with men who were not in
the closet but because of me went back into the closet. And so I’m
re-living everything that I did,” Martin said.
“I submitted myself to my career
completely. I didn’t open doors to new relationships, and I’m not
talking about romantic relationships, I’m talking about any
relationship, because I didn’t want people to know me too much. I
wouldn’t even sit down and have a cool relationship with amazing
producers or great film directors because I was afraid that if they
spent more than two hours sitting with me they would know my nature.”
“I wasted so much energy trying to
manipulate my sexuality,” he added.