Celebrity trainer Jillian Michaels says the “gay thing” has always been hard for her.

Michaels came out gay two years ago in a People cover story in which she discussed raising a family with partner Heidi Rhoades. The women are raising daughter Lukensia and son Phoenix.

The 40-year-old Michaels, who is best know for her appearances on the NBC reality program The Biggest Loser, appears on the November cover of Health.

When asked, “Have you always been comfortable talking openly about being gay?” Michaels responded that she has always struggled with talking about her sexuality.

“I don’t know that I am [comfortable talking about being gay] now, to be honest with you,” Michaels said. “The gay thing has always been hard for me. When Heidi and I are out and somebody older asks, ‘Are you sisters?’ I say, ‘We’re friends.’ I guess it comes from thinking that they will be shocked or disturbed. Look, I wish I had some strapping football player husband. It would be such a dream to be ‘normal’ like that, but I’m just not.”