In an op-ed in Sunday's The New York Times, a gay dad describes his worst fear of coming out as the feeling he would be giving up on his dream of someday being a dad.

In the piece, Marcus Mabry, a man in his mid-40s and an editor-at-large at the paper, said growing up there was no such thing as gay parenting.

“I didn't have a choice, of course. Most gay men of my generation came out when we simply could not stand the lying or daily self-denial any longer. Still, I mourned for myself and for the children I would never have.”

“Even having decided … that God had made me as I am, somewhere I still felt that being denied fatherhood was punishment for being gay.”

“When I turned 40 I decided it was time,” Mabry wrote.

“Of course, career, philanthropy, extended family, working to improve the world can all be immensely gratifying pursuits, but – for me – I believe that building a family and leaving children as a legacy would be my best-lived life. And even though he didn't think it a necessity, my partner was thrilled, if filled with trepidation, about trying surrogacy.”

“And our boys are the best part of our lives. They are our little miracles.”