Former San Francisco 49er offensive
lineman Kwame Harris has suggested he considered suicide while
playing in the NFL.
Harris, 30, played for the 49ers from
2003 to 2007. He last played in the NFL for the Oakland Raiders in
In the course of defending himself
against charges of domestic violence made by a former boyfriend,
Harris' sexual orientation became public in February.
49er Kwame Harris outed as gay in domestic violence dispute.)
In an interview with CNN, Harris said
that he never considered coming out while in the NFL.
“Not while I was playing. I didn't
see those two things as being compatible,” Harris said. “But now
when I look back in hindsight. If I could have done it differently,
I'd like to think that I would find the strength, or find the
fortitude, or the grace to kind of make the hard decision.”
Harris added that the stress was nearly
too much and suggested he considered taking his own life.
“You want to escape this despair,
this turmoil. And your mind goes to dark places sometimes. I'm
happy today. I'm glad that, you know, I didn't actually … put
those are just ideas and I didn't act on any of those things. I does
get better.” (The video is embedded on this page. Visit
our video library for more videos.)
Thomas: Keeping closeted made me “suicidal.”)