In a new parody inspired by
Chick-Fil-A's recent comments opposing gay marriage, leading fast
food chains speak out on the issue.
The graphic, which is making the rounds
on Facebook and other social media, includes the thoughts of 11 fast
“Gays want to get married? Like I
give a shit. What do I know about gays getting married? Want a free
pancake on your birthday, I'm your guy,” says Denny of Denny's
“I once messed around with a dude in
college,” says Arby of Arby's. “Who didn't? It's no big deal.
Want some roast beef?”
“We don't care if gays marry. If we
had our way no one would marry. Love is a lie. The only truth is
beef bowls,” says Yoshinoya's Jeff Yoshinoya.
“What goes into your butthole is your
business, all we care about is making sure Chipotle is what comes out
of it,” says Chipotle's Rodrigo Chipotle.
“As a Wiccan, I believe sexuality is
not about genitalia. It's about soil. Love is consummated with
mud,” says Wendy of Wendy's.
“Gay, straight,” says Papa John of
Papa John's. “I hate them all. Everyone who's ever gotten married
and who ever will get married. I'm jealous of anybody who's managed
to find the one they love. Why won't someone love me! I'm so
“You know our restaurant's called
Five Guys right?” says Guy #4 of Five Guys.
Ronald McDonald of McDonald's adds:
“Gay marriage is kind of tame for me. I'm into shit you wouldn't