Out fashion designer and movie director Tom Ford said in a recent interview with gay glossy Out that a “bad drinking problem” kept his dream of fatherhood at bay.

Ford, 55, and husband Richard Buckley are raising four-year-old Alexander John Buckley Ford, whom Ford refers to as Jack.

Ford, Out's artist of the year, announced in 2014 that he and Buckley had married in the United States after being together 27 years.

The Single Man director told Out that he “always wanted” to be a father.

“I couldn't have had Jack in that state – I'd have dropped him down the stairs and accidentally burned him with a cigarette,” Ford said.

Being a father has changed his perspective on life.

“You give up the right to kill yourself,” Ford said. “And I kind of like that, because it's the ultimate out.”

Ford's sophomore film, Nocturnal Animals starring Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal, opens November 23.