John Smid, the former leader of the
“ex-gay” ministry Love in Action, now says being gay isn't a
choice.
Smid stepped down as executive director
of Love in Action in 2008.
In a revealing blog
post, Smid concludes that despite his marriage to a woman he's
still gay and he has yet to meet a “man who experienced a change
from homosexual to heterosexual.”
“I used to define homosexuality or
heterosexuality in terms describing one's behavior,” Smid wrote.
“I thought it made sense and through the years often wrote articles
and talked from that perspective. Today, I understand why the gay
community had such an issue with my writings. My perspective denied
so many facets of the homosexual experience. I minimized a person's
life to just their sexuality but homosexuality is much more than
sex.”
“I would consider myself homosexual
and yet in a marriage with a woman. My sexual desires, attractions
and lifelong struggle with common factors relating to homosexuality
are pretty much all in the classification of homosexual. I tried my
hardest to create heterosexuality in my life but this also created a
lot of shame, a sense of failure and discouragement. Nothing I did
seemed to change me into a heterosexual even though I was in a
marriage that included heterosexual behavior.”
Zack Ford writing at ThinkProgress.org
notes: “He joins a chorus of other former 'ex-gay' leaders who have
apologized for tying to shame gays and lesbians into rejecting their
sexual orientation.”