An Australian senator this week quoted
out author Dan Savage to claim that most gay men find having one
partner to be “unrealistic and unnatural.”
In a 13-minute speech on the Senate
floor, Family First Senator Bob Day argued against passage of a bill
that seeks to alter the nation's marriage laws to end the exclusion
of gay and lesbian couples.
“In places where gay people,
typically men, have been able to form recognized unions, they do not
necessarily equate their commitment to monogamy,” Day told
“The term 'monogamish' … has now
been coined, a sort of 'open marriage' … as they feel a restriction
to one partner is unrealistic and unnatural,” Day said. “This
'monogamish' compromise is nothing short of surrender. As usual, all
the guarantees about marriage staying the same have come to naught.”
The term “monogamish” was coined by
Savage, who is 51, and has been writing a sex advice column for
Seattle's The Stranger since 1991.
In Savage Love, Savage often
talks openly about his “monogamish” marriage to Terry Miller.
To be sure, Savage says monogamy works
for most couples and often talks about its perks, including
paternity, less risk of disease and less risk of emotional
“It's one thing to mess around and
have a low stakes sexual encounter with someone else,” Savage said
in 2013. “But to go on a date with someone else, to develop
feelings for that person, that gets tough. And that's a risk.”
Day also argued that allowing two men
or two women to marry would lead to marriages involving three people.
“If this bill seeks marriage
equality, what is it trying to protect equally? What relationships
then are not marriages? Why would redefining marriage stop at
same-sex relationships? The bill talks about two people, but why not
three?” he rhetorically asked.