A gay couple profiled in The New
York Times says their marriage was for them, not their adult
David Dean and Steve Lowinger discussed
gay parenting in a 3-minute video released by the paper on Tuesday.
Dean was already a father co-parenting
with a lesbian when he met Lowinger in 1990.
“Our family just was what it was,”
Dean said. “I mean there were no gay celebrities out there having
children. We were inventing this. We were making it up as we went
About a year after they moved in
together, the men decided to expand their family.
“Somebody had advertised a group
where they would get together gay men and lesbians who wanted to have
children together. And they were kind of called the 'sperm and egg
mixers,'” Lowinger said with a laugh.
“In the early days it was about
making a statement, saying, 'Hey just because I'm gay doesn't mean I
can't have kids, too,'” Dean said.
Dean explained that they never expected
to get married.
“I was always very reluctant to get
married,” said Lowinger. “I felt like, you know, we've been
accepted as a family, it didn't really matter. But then, I thought
it would matter for us.”
“We've always been a couple with kids
from the day we met. And only now are we starting to be a couple
with no kids. And it's really becoming more about us as a couple,”
Dean said. “We're moving into another phase of our lives and I
think this helps define that for us, having marriage.” (The video
is embedded on this page. Visit
our video library for more videos.)
Dean and Lowinger exchanged vows at
City Hall with their two sons present.