In a Funny or Die skit,
Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann reveals the real reason behind her
retirement and Marcus Bachmann insists he's not gay.
“My good friends, after a great deal
of thought and deliberation I've decided that next year I will not
seek a fifth congressional term to represent the wonderful people of
the sixth district of Minnesota,” the Michele character says in the
spoof. “My decision was not made because I think I will lose the
election. I beat Jim Graves by a huge margin of 1 percent. And I
know I would beat him again, even if I wouldn't.”
Later, an actor playing Michele's
husband, Marcus, pokes himself into the frame to offer unconvincing
evidence that he's not gay.
“Hi, Marcus again, from behind the
candelabra. Listen, let me be clear about something: I hate gay
people. And no, I am not gay. For instance, I would never picture
myself in an Italian villa covered in nothing but lasagna noodles,
beckoning my lover to come spray his man-marinara all over me. Oh
wait, who's this, it's a houseboy to add some of his paternal parmesan
… I'm not gay, get it?”
Michele ends the video by thanking her
supporters.
“Thank you everyone who supported me,
except for those of you who voted for gay marriage. You're the
reason that I'm leaving,” she says.
(Watch
the farcical take on Michele Bachmann's real retirement at Funny
or Die.)