Chirlane McCray, the wife of politician
Bill de Blasio, discusses coming out gay in a 1979 ESSENSE
essay.
In the op-ed, titled I Am a Lesbian,
McCray broke ground by talking openly about her sexuality in a Black
magazine.
“I discovered my preference for women
early,” she wrote, “before getting locked into a traditional
marriage.”
McCray, 58, is now happily married to
de Blasio, New York City's public advocate and a candidate for mayor.
In an interview with ESSENSE,
McCray said she remembers feeling “positive about what I'd done.”
“So how did you go from being a
lesbian to falling in love with a man?” ESSENSE asked.
“By putting aside the assumptions I
had about the form and package my love would come in,” McCray
answered. “By letting myself be as free as I felt when I went
natural.”
“I was attracted to Bill. He felt
like the perfect person for me.”
When asked if she considers herself to
be bisexual, McCray answered that she is “more than just a label.”
“Why are people so driven to labeling
where we fall on the sexual spectrum? Labels put people in boxes,
and those boxes are shaped like coffins. Finding the right person
can be so hard that often, when a person finally finds someone she or
he is comfortable with, she or he just makes it work. As my friend
Vanessa says, 'It's not whom you love; it's that you love.'”