Sally Kern (R-Okla.) was back in the
news this week. As you may recall, her recently revealed anti-gay speech has been making the rounds on the Internet. To the dismay of
the thousands who emailed, phoned, or showed-up on her office
doorstep at the State Capitol to protest, Sally is not apologizing
for calling gays terrorists and a cancer that needs removing.
Instead
she has run into the arms of the Christian right, who are falling all
over themselves to congratulate her on her courage to speak out and
defend her right to free speech. Free speech? As Bill
likes to say, give me a break! We handed her the biggest megaphone
imaginable by posting her tirade on the net. The name Sally Kern on
Valentine's Day would have drawn a blank expression on even the
biggest bigot's face, yet today she's the darling of the Christian
right. For Sally Kern, it's all a dream come true.
I'm going to meet-up with you at the
racetrack and make you rich off a single wager or give a horse a
carrot to break your foot. Keep reading to find out which.
A transgender man is claiming he is pregnant. Thomas Beatie, who works for The Advocate, transgendered
approximately ten years ago, but kept reproductive rights. He now says
that once he delivers the baby, he will be the father. A fascinating
story.
Makeshift memorials appeared in Oxnard,
California after a 15 year old boy was shot to death for flirting
with another boy. Now gay activist are protesting the fact that the school system does little to protect our gay youth. Larry King was
shot twice in the head on Feb. 12th after telling another
boy he liked him.
Everybody knows the key to any
successful outdoor event is a fair weather forecast. But according
to all sources, it's raining McCain (see video)! That's
enough for me to pack up my gay pride picnic and move it indoors.
Click here for a photo of the storm system responsible for these alleged McCain showers.
It was our own Gay Entertainment Report that brought me news that Shelter, the gay surfer romance movie, had won the top Audience Choice Award at the Melbourne Queer Film Festival. It's a g'day for Shelter!
[Editor's note] Walter is
slowly readjusting to everyday life after a six day stay at the Wonder Rehab facility.
“Sloppy's not coming,” Dan says
closing his Moto RAZR version 1 phone.
I look up from my Lenovo X300 notebook
and say, “What happened? An emergency Jell-O set?”
“You shouldn't call him Sloppy!”
Ryan says as he flips through a little paperback of sex tips.
“He's busy indoctrinating young
children into the homosexual lifestyle, children as young as two,”
Dan answers.
“I don't bother with the two year
olds, it's all pictures, crayons, and diapers!” Ryan snaps in.
“You can at least have a rational conversation with an eight year
old.”
I look up from our table and out the
large windows. Outside the day is bright and signs of spring
awakening are finally visible.
Across the street from the Starbucks
where I'm attempting to work-in a quick post or two, a fit man in a
blue Brooks Brothers suit talking on a Nokia N96 phone walks by. I
check out his crisp collar, clean shave, and confident gate – each
step exudes sexual confidence.
I close the latch on the Lenovo X300
notebook and unplug it from the wall socket, “I need to get to work
early myself,” I say to the group, then add as I slide the notebook
into its leather slipcase, “Vinnie DeAngelo, love, would you mind
making sure these kids get home?” Then add, “How gay is that?”
Vinnie DeAngelo, who has been quietly
writing in a red spiral bound notebook what I presume are crib notes
for an upcoming movie or musings for a future memoir – a certain
long-tail hit, looks up from his notebook, nods in agreement, and
says, “I'm so gay I bleed rainbows.”
“That's what comes from too many
Skittles®,” I
respond.
I head out of the coffee shop and up
the street in pursuit of Blue Brooks Brothers. I was too slow and
cannot manage to find any sign of him, but continue north towards the
park. After five blocks and a quick pace, I catch a glimpse of his
leather briefcase moving into the park.
I walk down a crushed rock trail coming
to a fork and choose to head into a tunnel. As I enter, I'm
momentarily blinded by the sudden darkness and stop. As my eyes
adjust, I realize Blue Brooks Brothers is standing just a couple of
feet away from me.
“Hey, Walter, how you been?” he
asks, surprising me.
“Fine....Well, I had to go away for a
week,” I say. He moves
towards me, his confidence more intoxicating than I remembered.
“Business or pleasure?” he asks
“A bit of both, I guess,” I say,
then add, “You know, I've got a crush on you,” with a bit more
tension in my voice.
“That's nice to hear,” he answers.
“I need to get to work...maybe next
week we could share a pizza?” I say as I begin to step backwards.
He matches my steps, then catches up.
“Tell me you have a crush on me too,” I say, hopeful.
He pulls me in closer, embracing me,
gazes into my eyes and says, “I do. I do have a crush on you,” and kisses me.
Meanwhile, in Southern California.
Jack arrives at his home after a
monthslong stay at Wonder Rehab – an empty home. He drops into
his favorite chair at the end of the living room and takes out his
iPhone. He scrolls down to the Photoshow application and presses on
the folder titled Walter Wonder 2008.
Hey kids, get your own I'm So Gay I
Bleed Rainbows tee at dyketees.com.
Walter Weeks is a writer for On Top
Magazine and can be reached at ww@ontopmag.com.
The Gay Slant pops-in most Saturdays at On Top Magazine.